Biting your tongue...

This is a frequent occurrence in the UAE. Such an occurrence happened to me tonight in the extreme.

I was already pissed off because I had been to Yas Marina Circuit to run and my Garmin GPS's battery had died at 4.8KM, leaving me not knowing what my time was for 5KM. Annoying.

So, the route home from there takes me through a short tunnel (imaginatively called 'Yas Tunnel') which has a 40kmph (c.25mph) speed limit. This in itself is ridiculous for a three lane (or is it 4, can't remember?) road, even if it is in a tunnel. So, I am driving in the outside lane of said tunnel, absolutely not doing about 80kmph and neither was anyone else (!) , when a twat in a (wait for it.... yes,  you guess it.....) a Land Cruiser (shock, horror!) came tearing up behind me, flashing his lights and positioning himself about 4" from my rear bumper. This is in a tunnel remember? 40kmph limit.

So anyway, as he didn't actually have anywhere to go i.e. no hard shoulder to overtake on (which is a favourite) and cars on my inside, I do my usual thing....just sit there. Save ramming me (which I wouldn't put past some) there wasn't really much he could do, except continue flashing his lights, sounding his horn (he did, a lot) and kind of swerve from side to side like a demented cobra. As he was being a particularly irritating rear orifice, I did in fact slow down somewhat just to wind him up. Yes, childish I know, but it just had to be done. This was "bite your tongue" moment no.1. I'll explain later.

When we exited the tunnel, I sloooowwly pulled over so he could pass, which he did and performed the totally predictable "lets try and swerve in front of you to make you break hard" manoeuvre, which they learn as small children on their bikes in the street most nights between the hours of 11.30pm and 1am. I followed him as he screeched round the roundabout and up to the traffic lights, which much to my amusement, were on red. As I pulled my car up behind his, I thought this is it, I'm going to get out and have a quiet chat to him and explain the error of his ways. Or something like that. So I put the car in "park", undid my seatbelt and then started counting to 10. I reached about 3 and had my second "bite your tongue" moment. I put my belt back on, waited for the lights to change and let him speed off.

So why all the tongue biting, the uninitiated may ask? Back home it would be for different reasons. Back home, these days you never know who you are dealing with and could end getting stabbed. But the odds are more in your favour of this not happening, so road rage kicks in and arguments abound. So why here? Because the odds are totally stacked against you. Try to argue your case against certain people and you are just going to fail every time. So when my instinct in the tunnel is to slam on my brakes and let the pillock smash into the back of my car (why should I care, it's a lease car and the insurance will cover it),  I have to remember that when the police are called, all he needs to do is say is that during the inevitable confrontation that would occur after, I had verbally insulted him and flipped my finger at him. This will be enough for me to be arrested, thrown in jail and eventually given a short jail sentence, followed by deportation. No need for witnesses. No burden of proof. My word against his. Happens time and time again. Same at the traffic lights. Whatever I may have said to him, would just be relayed as something totally different to the police and include the inevitable finger flip too.

So - biting you tongue my friends is the way to go. Not very satisfying, maybe galling, but will keep you out of jail. After nearly 5 years here now, my tongue is very sore.

Lovely old Benz

Saw this today outside Le Meridien Hotel. Not really sure what model (maybe someone can tell me), but looks like something from the mid-30's.

...complete with original stereo :-)

Worn Tyres #2

Since I wrote this...

http://neilandcaz.blogspot.com/2012/05/worn-tyres.html

...a couple of things have happened. Firstly I witnessed a tyre burst right in front of me. I was travelling on the highway when a pick up pulled out in front of me. It was clearly overloaded with god knows what, piled high covered in blankets. The load was way higher than the front cab of the pick-up. Anyway, I wanted to pass but he was just sticking where he was, so I decided to undertake into the two clear lanes to the right of him. Thank god I did. As I started to pull inside the tyre went. First of all it was like small shredded pieces flying under my car, but as I passed it quickly I could see in my rear view mirror the complete tyre unravelling and spraying all over the road. A few seconds more behind him and it would have been all over my car and would have been pretty dangerous.

Then, today there is a piece in The National about the same subject. Apparently 53 car crashes have been caused by blown tyres already this year in Abu Dhabi, 6 people have died and 7 seriously injured. Last year 17 people died due to burst tyres. Second hand tyres, overloading and speed seem to be the main issues.

So I guess I had a lucky escape!

Full article here...

Worn Tyres

As you drive down any of the UAE highways you will see endless trails of rubber from blown-out tyres. In the UK you may see the odd one every now and again, but here they are honestly everywhere. Heat, of course, is a contributory factor, but basic maintainence is the main issue I believe. People just keep driving on worn tyres and do not check them regularly enough.

Today our friend had borrowed a 4x4 from his neighbour to move some furniture.  Below are the pictures of his tyres as a case in point. All 4 were exactly the same. Death trap.

New addition to the family ...

Well it was time to say goodbye to the Passat, so now hello a Mitsubishi Outlander.

In some ways it is very similar to the Audi R8 V10 ....

• Leather steering wheel

• Automatic

• 4 wheel drive

• Paddle shift

• 4 wheels

*sigh* - ...clearly I'm still not over her yet!

Car make over

So I spent the day regaling stories of posh hotels, excessive speed and glamourous venues to my work colleagues today. As I went to the car park to leave for home, this is what greeted me.....

I guess they thought I deserved a permanent upgrade! Cheeky gits.... By the way, I did drive all the way home like that :-)

Highway Idiot

This guy was going 140 kmph on the Dubai-Abu Dhabi highway. The kid actually had his face right on the front windscreen, and was resting his chin on the dashboard when the picture was taken. Oh ... and he was also smoking, so was no doubt having to manage the driving one handed at times too, or maybe no hands while lighting it?

Two words spring to mind, wit and fuck. Not in that order.

... and another nice car!

... this time at Dubai Mall at the weekend...

Wow, nice car!

Saw this as I was going down Yas Highway today. I didn't know what car it was, but as I pulled up along side it at the lights at Mina Port I had a quick chat with the driver. It is a Weismann. A hand built German car, with the GT version I saw having only 80 produced so far. It looked stunning. c.$250K. I'll have two please.

Car Impounded (not)

I got a really strange call from my car lease company yesterday.

"Sir, do you have your car with you"

"err... yes"

"It's just the police have contacted us to say your car is impounded"

"Well, I can tell you I am looking at it right now and it is definitely not impounded"

"They say it was involved in a very high speed incident and then impounded. The impound period is now over and the vehicle must be collected. They have suspended our company trade license until it is collected"

"I think there is some mistake here."

"Sir, we will speak to them and get back to you"


A couple of hours later....


"Sir, we need to collect your car and take it to the police"

"umm... ok"

"They want to inspect the car"

"Would they not be better inspecting the car the have?"

"We have to take it sir."


So they duly took my car, gave me a replacement and since I have heard nothing.

Intriguing.. can't wait to hear the outcome!


Update: 18/12

Well they have now accepted that the car they have in their pound is not mine (good work Sherlock!) and have released the lease company's trade licence. What a complete waste of everyone's time! 

Camel Racing at Sweihan

Last weekend we did something we have said we wanted to do since we got here - go camel racing (not riding you understand, just watching!). I saw an advert in the paper inviting the general public to a camel racing festival in Sweihan which is about an hour or so into the desert from where we are.

The festival ran all week and included Saluki (dog) racing, camel and saluki beauty contests and traditional arts, crafts and dancing. 

The day we were there it was really windy and cold under the cover of the grandstand, so we didn't stay all afternoon, but we did see a few of the races. Here's a few piccies of the afternoon....

Traditional Emirati dances

Gold Ceremonial Sword Prizes

Lexus 4x4 prizes!

One of the unlucky ones!

I want one of these!

I guess there are already a few of these around Abu Dhabi........

http://twistedsifter.com/2010/09/apple-icar-mercedes-brabus/

Pimped BMW

I once read that by volume the Middle East is not the biggest market for Mercedes/BMW etc, but it is for some the biggest by value. This is because of the high proportion of customers who buy top of the range, fully loaded with extras and many also with customised interior/exterior.

Here’s an example I saw the other day. Custom paint jobs are two-a-penny here, especially matt finishes which are popular.

Mercedes SLS AMG

I saw this beautiful SLS outside Layali al Zaman, one of Abu Dhabi’s most famous shisha cafes. I had a quick chat to the owner (local of course!) who was very gracious as I drooled !






I was lucky to be at Yas Marina Circuit for an event, when Mercedes were doing their Middle East launch of the SLS. There must have been about 20 of these whizzing round the track.

Fantastic!

Shurely shome mishtake

Saw this on the back of a Nissan TIIDA. There may be a few possible reasons for this.......

1. A genuine factory error
2. Nissan have a drive to employ more dyslexic people
3. A staff member at the factory trying to be funny
4. The car owner trying to be funny

As far as I am aware “TAIID” doesn’t actually mean anything so a definite FAIL if 3) or 4).


In any case, if I owned a Nissan TIIDA, I would not want to do anything to draw people’s attention to it.

I want one of these!

I saw this at an ADNOC in Khalidiyah today. It looked fantastic, so I took a couple of pics on my mobile and then did a bit of investigation.









Look at those air horns at the front!

The car is a Zimmer Golden Spirit, which is based on a 1920’3/30’s classic Duesenberg. These are what they call “neo-classic”. Basically it is a Ford Mustang underneath. Here is their website.

This is the Golden Eagle at the front....




and here’s the inside.....






I want one!

Rolls Royce Ruined

We walked past the Rolls Royce dealer here last night, Abu Dhabi Motors. In the showroom there were two, two-tone Rolls Royces. One was blue and white and the other black and yellow. I said to Caz what a sacrilege I thought it was, to do that to a Rolls. RR drivers don't usually like to be so ostentatious, rather, display an heir of class and understatement. The quality of the car is found under the bonnet and inside the car, for the benefit of it's occupants, rather than for displaying to others. So for me, leave the garish paint jobs for other marques.

So then, this morning on my way to Abu Dhabi Mall, in the Tourist Club Area, I saw that someone had obviously bought one, I guess not the night before , but previously!

Seeing it up close only served to confirm my thoughts........

(all easy for me to say since I will likely never be rich enough to buy one - unless we live in it!)

White is the new silver….

Back home I would guess the most popular colour for cars would be silver… here it is most definitely white!

Early start for a Saturday

Caz was at work yesterday and today. This morning when the alarm went at 6.30am I got up too and decided to go to the beach. I dropped Caz at work and was on the beach by 7.30! At the moment it is the best time to go, before it gets too hot. The gulf waters are really warm during the summer, so it feels a bit weird not to cool off when you get into the water. Had a good swim and did some exercising in the water (half way to losing my first stone by the way!) , then got out and read the paper in a chair on the beach. By the time it got to 9 I had had enough and it was by now 38C. I'm guessing it probably reached 45-48C today (so stop whinging about a heat wave in England!) . Went to McD's for brekkie, where they now do the proper McD breakfast menu - yippee!


Took my new car for it's first car wash later on. Promised some piccies so here we go.....








It's nice to be back in a car rather than a 4x4, at least the bus I had! It actually has some pick up (for those interested it's the 1.8T engine) and so I can now drive like the locals! It has an AUX socket from the stereo, so today I sourced a kit to connect my iPod, with a wireless remote that fits onto the steering wheel, so the car now has good sounds too! No more crappy local radio!

Finished the day off by cooking a lovely (even though I do say so myself) lamb roast dinner for when Caz came home - with roast pots, fresh veg and Yorkshire puddings (7 pounds back on!). Nice to have some taste of home though.....