Saturday, October 15, 2011

Crap cinema, crap film

Oh dear , oh dear, oh dear - what a waste of time and money. We fancied going out to see a film (movie for anyone Americanised (Americanized, sorry) ). We normally go to the VOX Cinema at Marina Mall, in the "Gold Class". This is not because we are snobs or something, but because in Gold Class you don't normally get people constantly texting, BBM'ing, making and receiving calls and generally talking loudly, thus spoiling the whole experience. I checked out the listing for Gold Class and there was some kids film in 3D and something else that didn't sound too great, so I thought I would check elsewhere. There is a new cinema in the new Dalma Mall in Mussafah. This is called the "Royal Cinema" and had "Platinum" showings.  They had a film called (and take note of this, you will thank me) "Killer Elite" staring none other than Mr Robert De Niro and British gangster actor, Jason Statham (Lock Stock.... / Snatch etc). So I figured it had a good cast and it sounded like the sort of action film I would like. So off we set for the half hour drive to the mall (we British would say, shopping centre, with an re by the way, not an er).

As the mall is still quite new, the place was pretty deserted and apart from two seats we had the pick of the place. When we first entered the first thing we noticed was that the seats are much closer together than the ones at Vox, but they were leather (possibly faux) and looked nice. The seats had a forward and back button that put the seat into a recline, but without the leg support of Vox. Caroline's seat buttons were not working, so I tried the one next to me. That didn't work either. I then tried various seats in the cinema and about half of them were not working, although some were working but had the wiring crossed so the buttons were reversed! Having found two seats at the back that worked we made ourselves comfortable.

The trailers began. I noticed that the film did not appear to be in focus. Titles and subtitles were blurry and even some of the on screen action just didn't look clear. The whole picture also appeared to be bobbing up and down, like the projector was bouncing. I thought maybe it was just for the previews, but when the main film started and it was the same, I thought I am going to have to say something. I was beaten to it by another British guy who walked out to go and complain. I went and chatted to him when he returned, just in case he had actually been to the toilet and I still needed to complain! But, yes, he had spoken to somebody about it. The next thing we hear, being on the back row, was the full sound of the projector room when the projectioner opened his window to view the film. Now we had an annoying sound disturbing the poor picture! I spoke to him and I guess he was trying to get a better view of the screen to focus it properly. I gave him a thumbs up when it was better and asked him to close the window.

Now to the film itself. What a load of drivel. The storyline (thin as it was) was implausible, the script terrible (it could have been written by a 12 year old) and the acting was pretty awful too. We managed half an hour, gave up and left.

So, it looks like we will be back to the Vox Gold Class next time, even if it is to watch Lion King 3D !

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